Host Friendsgiving as a potluck: you cook the main and handle drinks, and guests fill a dish sign-up with set slots for sides, salads and pies. The sign-up is the whole trick. Without it you get five pies and no green vegetables.
Friendsgiving suits adult friends, couples and families with kids of any age, in late October or November. It runs indoors around one long table. The sample here is 16 guests, seated, for about 3 hours. Ideas for the table, food and games live on the Friendsgiving party theme; this post covers how to run it.
The plan, from sign-up to leftovers
- Pick the date and send the invitation with the sign-up. The weekend before Thanksgiving is the classic slot. Send it 3 to 4 weeks ahead and ask guests to claim a dish when they reply, plus any food allergies. A Friendsgiving plan dates every step back from your day.
- Cap each category. For 16 people, this mix works: 5 sides (mac and cheese, green beans, stuffing, sweet potatoes, rolls), 2 salads, 1 vegetarian main, 3 pies, and 2 drinks. Once a slot is gone, it's gone. Ask every guest to bring their own serving spoon.
- Buy the turkey early and thaw it in the fridge. Plan about 1 pound of whole turkey per guest when the table is full of sides, so a 14 to 16 pound bird. USDA allows about 24 hours of fridge thawing per 4 to 5 pounds. That is 3 to 4 days for a 12 to 16 pound turkey (USDA).
- Write the oven schedule. Your oven belongs to the turkey until it comes out to rest. That 30-minute rest is the only window for guests to reheat. Ask everyone to arrive with dishes hot, room-temperature, or ready for a 20-minute warm-up, and say which on the sign-up.
- Count chairs, not just plates. Friendsgiving is a sit-down meal, so you need 16 seats at a table. Borrow a folding table and line it up with yours. Cover both with one kraft paper runner so it reads as one table.
- Set the table the night before. Runner, place cards with a "Thankful for" line, mini pumpkins, a few grocery-store mums, and battery candles. Tape the dish sign-up by the door so guests know where their food goes.
- Make a labeling station. Folded index cards and a marker by the door. Each guest writes their dish name and any common allergens (nuts, dairy, gluten). Put a nut-free sticker on at least one pie.
- Stock leftover containers. About 24 deli containers with lids. Sending food home is the nicest way to end, and it empties your fridge.
What Friendsgiving costs for 16
Here are Festidy's house party levels for 16 guests, as if one person bought everything:
| Level | Per guest | 16 guests |
|---|---|---|
| Simple Home food, homemade games | $10 | $160 |
| Standard Bakery cake and one hired activity | $20 | $320 |
| Splurge Entertainer, rentals, and custom decor | $40 | $640 |
On a potluck, the host covers the top rows and guests bring the last one. At the higher levels, the host buys more and guests bring less.
| Who pays for what | Simple | Standard | Splurge |
|---|---|---|---|
| Host: turkey and gravy | $25 | $40 | $110: smoked or catered turkey |
| Host: drinks | $30: cider, iced tea | $65: adds wine and beer | $125: a fuller bar |
| Host: decor and table | $20: kraft paper, mini pumpkins | $40: adds mums and candles | $80: flowers and linens |
| Host: tableware and rentals | $20 | $45: sturdier plates, a borrowed folding table and chairs | $90: cloth linens and nicer plates (renting a table and chairs adds about $150 with delivery) |
| Guests: sides, salads and pies | $65 | $130 | $235 |
Make the table do the decorating
The kraft paper runner. It costs a few dollars, protects the table, and gives guests something to do. Put cups of crayons along it. Adults doodle too.
Place cards with a gratitude line. A folded card with each name and a blank "Thankful for..." line. Guests fill it in before dinner, and it seeds the gratitude jar later.
A low centerpiece. Mini pumpkins, small gourds and candles in a line down the middle. Keep it under about 8 inches so people can see each other.
DIY all three. Buy mums only if you want color at the door. Skip tall floral arrangements, which block half the table's view, and real taper candles near paper runners.
The menu and the pie bar
| What | How many | Why |
|---|---|---|
| lb of food | 16 | About 1 lb a guest for a meal |
| Plates | 32 | 40 cups and 48 napkins too |
| Drinks | 64 | Soda, sparkling water, beer or wine: 2 a guest the first hour, then 1 |
| Waters (8 oz) | 24 | 4 oz a guest an hour; or about 1.5 gallons in a dispenser |
| lb of ice | 32 | 2 lb a guest; double it on a hot day |
| Seats | 10 | About 60% of guests at once |
| Dessert servings | 16 | Cake or a dessert table: a quarter sheet |
The host's list:
- Turkey, 14 to 16 pounds, roasted and rested, with 2 quarts of gravy. Cook it to 165°F in the thickest part of the breast and the innermost thigh and wing (USDA).
- Warm cider in a slow cooker, about 1 gallon, and a pitcher of iced tea.
- Something to nibble at arrival: a cheese board or a bowl of nuts, labeled.
Skip a cake. Make a pie bar instead: pumpkin, pecan and apple, with a can of whipped cream per pie and a stack of small plates. Three pies cut in 8 give 24 slices, enough for 16 people who want "just a sliver" of two kinds. If someone wants to buy instead of bake, a grocery bakery pumpkin pie is a fine slot-filler.
Food left out more than 2 hours should go back in the fridge (FoodSafety.gov). Set a phone timer when dinner goes on the table.
Friendsgiving games for a full, happy table
Plan one game before dinner, one during, and two after pie, when people are full and glad to stay seated. Grown-ups and teens play everything below; the kids' corner keeps younger guests busy while the turkey rests.
Friendsgiving bingo
Ages 6 and up · during dinner · everyone
Hand out a bingo card at each place setting. Squares are table moments: someone says "I'm stuffed", a dish arrives late, a second helping of stuffing. First full row says "bingo" and picks the next pie slice.
- You need: 16 cards from the free printables (free), 16 pens, a bowl of dried beans as markers (about $2)
Thankful alphabet
Ages 6 and up · 10 minutes · the whole table
Go around the table, and each person names something they're thankful for that starts with the next letter, A to Z. Skip Q and X if the table votes to. It's calm, needs nothing, and works while plates are cleared.
- You need: nothing
Gratitude jar
Ages 8 and up · 10 minutes · the whole table
Guests write one thing they're thankful for on a small card and drop it in a jar on arrival. After the main course, read out 5 or 6 and let the table guess who wrote each.
- You need: a pack of index cards (about $2), 1 mason jar you already own, 16 pens (about $4)
Pie judging
Ages 10 and up · 15 minutes · everyone
Everyone tastes a sliver of every pie and votes on a ballot in silly categories: best crust, most surprising, first to disappear. Count votes while the coffee brews and announce winners with a straight face.
- You need: 16 printed ballots (free), 16 pens, a pack of 24 small forks (about $3)
Backyard football toss
Ages 6 and up · 15 to 20 minutes · 4 to 10 players
For the restless after pie. Hang a hula hoop from a branch or have someone hold it, and players throw a foam football through from 10 feet. Everyone who makes it steps back 3 feet. Put the game on TV in another room for anyone who'd rather watch.
- You need: 1 foam football (about $8 to $10), 1 hula hoop (about $3 to $5)
Kids' corner: turkey feather hunt
Ages 3 to 10 · 10 minutes · all the kids
Hide 30 paper feathers around the living room while the turkey rests. Kids find them and glue them onto a paper plate turkey to take home. Tell each kid how many to find so everyone ends up with a full tail.
- You need: 30 feathers cut from colored paper (about $3), 1 paper plate per kid, 4 glue sticks (about $3)
Activity station: the thankful leaf garland
Set up half a card table, about 2 by 3 feet, by the cider. Put out paper leaves, markers and a length of twine with mini clothespins. Guests of any age write a note on a leaf and clip it on, and by pie the garland can hang over the mantel.
- You need: a pack of fall card stock cut into 40 leaves (about $5), 8 markers (about $4), 10 feet of twine and 50 mini clothespins (about $6)
Prizes: grown-ups play for bragging rights. Give pie judging winners a printed ribbon or a $1 candy bar, and give every kid the same small thing, like a sticker sheet, about $1 each.
Games shopping list: pens, index cards, dried beans, small forks, a foam football, a hula hoop, colored paper, paper plates, glue sticks, fall card stock, markers, twine and mini clothespins.
Three hours at the table
| Time | What happens |
|---|---|
| 3:00 | Arrivals. Dishes to the labeling station, coats to the bedroom, cider in hand. |
| 3:30 | Turkey out to rest. Guests' dishes go in the oven. Kids start the turkey feather hunt. |
| 4:00 | Everyone sits. Carve at the table or on the counter, then pass dishes left. |
| 4:00 to 4:50 | Friendsgiving bingo runs through dinner. |
| 4:50 | Gratitude jar, about 10 minutes, then thankful alphabet while plates are cleared. |
| 5:10 | Pie judging, about 15 minutes. |
| 5:25 | Backyard football toss for the restless; the leaf garland goes up. |
| 5:40 | Leftovers packed into containers. |
| 6:00 | Done. |
If kids come, give them a kids' table at one end of the runner with crayons. The free Friendsgiving printables have a fill-in invitation, a door sign, thank-you cards and Friendsgiving bingo ready to print.
Small favors, if any
Most hosts skip favors at Friendsgiving because leftovers do the job. If you want one, try a mini pie in a paper box, about $3 to $4 each from a grocery bakery. The non-food option: a packet of seeds or a small jar candle with a "thankful for you" tag, about $2 to $4.
Where Friendsgiving goes sideways
- An open sign-up. "Bring anything" means desserts and chips. Fixed slots fix it.
- Everyone needs the oven at once. Tell guests ahead, by message, which dishes get oven time. Everything else arrives ready.
- No serving spoons. A dozen dishes need a dozen spoons. Ask guests to bring their own and keep a jar of spares.
- A frozen turkey on the day. Count the thaw days back from the party. If you are late, a turkey breast or a bone-in ham cooks faster.
Other ways to set the table
- Leftovers Friendsgiving: host on the Saturday after Thanksgiving, when everyone has extra food. Guests bring a leftover dish remade, like turkey sliders.
- Friendsgiving brunch: swap the turkey for a breakfast casserole and a ham, start at 11, and end with the pie bar at 1:30.
- Roll into December: the same crowd often wants a second party. The Christmas party plan turns this table into a cookie swap.
Friendsgiving questions
When should you have Friendsgiving?
Most groups host the weekend before Thanksgiving, when people are still in town. Late October and early November work too, with less competition for dates.
What should the host provide at Friendsgiving?
The main (usually the turkey), gravy, drinks, ice, plates and the table. Guests bring sides, salads and desserts through the sign-up.
How many dishes do you need for 16 people?
About 12 to 14, plus the turkey: 5 sides, 2 salads, a vegetarian main, 3 pies and drinks. More than that and most dishes go home half full.
What games work at Friendsgiving with adults and kids?
Pick games that happen at the table, like bingo during dinner and the gratitude jar after it, so nobody has to leave their plate. Add one active game for after pie and a 10-minute feather hunt for the kids.
