Party invitation and RSVP etiquette for kids' birthdays

Send invitations 3 to 4 weeks before the party and ask for replies one week before it. Say exactly who is invited, when the party starts and ends, and whether parents should stay. That one clear invitation prevents most of the awkward moments later.

Below: timing, what to include, sample wording, siblings, drop-offs, chasing replies, gifts and thank-yous.

When to send invitations

Three to four weeks is the sweet spot for a kids' party. Earlier and people forget; later and weekends fill up. Ask for replies a week before, so you have time to shop for the real headcount.

May and June are crowded with graduations, showers and end-of-school events, so give those parties the extra two weeks. December holiday parties also benefit from the full four weeks.

Planning on short notice? A text invitation two weeks out is fine. See how to plan a birthday party in one week for a faster countdown, or the full kids' birthday party timeline if you have time.

What to put on the invitation

Parents read invitations in a hurry, often on a phone. Put the answers to their questions right there.

1. Who it's for: the child's first name and the age they're turning.
2. Date, start time and end time. The end time is the one people forget, and parents need it to plan pickups.
3. Address and parking: "Park on the street, not the driveway" saves a jam.
4. Who's invited: the child only, siblings welcome, or the whole family.
5. Drop-off or stay: say which, especially for ages 5 to 7, where it varies.
6. What to wear or bring: swimsuit and towel, clothes that can get messy, a jacket for the park.
7. Reply date and how to reply.
8. Allergies: a line asking parents to mention any.
9. Gifts: only if you want to say "no gifts" or suggest something specific.

Festidy's invitations come with an RSVP link, so guests can reply without making an account and note allergies in the same step. Whatever you use, ask about allergies on the reply. Our allergy-friendly party guide covers what to do with the answers.

A few of Festidy's free invitation designs, one for each kind of party. Tap one to start yours with it:

Invitation wording examples

Short wins. Here are samples you can copy and change.

Standard:

Drop-off party:

Siblings welcome:

No gifts:

Keep the copy friendly and plain. The invitation sets the tone, and a clear one also makes you look calm even if you aren't.

Siblings and plus-ones

Decide this before you send anything. Siblings change your headcount, your food and your favor count.

• If siblings are welcome, say so and ask for the number in the reply.
• If they aren't, address the invitation to the child by name and add "We're keeping this one to the birthday crew." Most parents will take the hint.
• For toddlers, expect a parent and often a baby sibling. Plan seats and snacks for them anyway.

Even with a "kids only" invitation, a sibling sometimes shows up at the door. Make two or three spare goodie bags so nobody feels left out. Our guide to how many goodie bags you need has the math.

For grown-up parties, "plus one" means one guest. If you're inviting a couple, put both names on it. If you aren't offering a plus-one, just use the guest's name.

Drop-off or stay?

Here's a rough guide by age. It's a convention, not a rule, so say what you want on the invitation.

At a drop-off party, collect a cell number for each child and write down any allergies. Have one other adult with you. Kids' parties run on helpers, and a second grown-up covers bathroom trips and scraped knees.

If parents stay, plan food and drinks for them too. Festidy's planning numbers assume about 60% kids and 40% grown-ups, so 12 guests is about 7 kids and 5 adults.

Inviting from a class

If you invite some of the class but not all, send invitations to parents directly by text or email. Handing out a stack in the classroom while a few kids get nothing is the classic misstep. If you want to use the school folder, invite the whole class.

For young kids, a common rule of thumb is their age plus one guest. A 5-year-old would invite about 6 friends. It's a starting point, not a law.

Chasing RSVPs politely

Some people won't reply. Usually they just forgot. Wait one day after your reply date, then send one short, warm message.

Use the parent's preferred channel, a text if you have it. One follow-up is enough. If you still hear nothing, count them as a maybe.

Plan food for every "yes" plus about half of the maybes. Festidy's shopping amounts already count 2 plates, 2.5 cups and 3 napkins per guest, which covers a surprise guest or two.

No-shows and late arrivals

Someone who said yes may not come. Don't follow up on the day; there's usually a sick kid or a nap behind it. Start on time anyway. The first half hour of most kids' parties is free play, so late arrivals slide right in.

If you're the guest and plans change, send a quick message as early as you can. The host is counting slices.

Gifts or no gifts

Both are fine. If you want no gifts, say it once, kindly, on the invitation. Some families suggest an alternative:

• A book swap: each child brings a wrapped book and takes one home.
• A donation drive: canned food, books or pet shelter supplies.
• A small, shared gift: a few families chip in toward one larger present. Keep this informal and never name an amount.

At the party, open gifts after guests leave. Opening them in front of everyone takes 20 minutes and kids get restless. It also avoids comparisons.

Thank-you notes

Send them within one to two weeks. A short note is plenty: the gift, one thing your child likes about it, and thanks for coming.

Kids who can write can sign their name or draw a picture. For a big party, a photo of your child with the gift sent by text is a warm, quick option. Jot down who gave what as you open gifts, or you'll forget by Monday.

A quick timeline

1. 4 weeks before: send invitations with a reply date one week before the party.
2. 2 weeks before: check the count and buy favors.
3. 1 week before: reply date. Send one friendly follow-up the next day.
4. 5 days before: final count; shop for food.
5. After the party: thank-you notes within two weeks.

When you're ready, start a free plan and Festidy will date each step back from the party.

FAQ

Is it rude to send invitations by text?

No. Texts and email invitations are normal for kids' parties now. Include the same details you would on paper, especially the end time and reply date.

How late can I send a birthday invitation?

Two weeks is the practical minimum for a weekend party. With less notice, send a quick personal message first, then the details.

What if someone brings a sibling who wasn't invited?

Welcome them and hand over a spare goodie bag. Fixing it at the door is worth more than being right about the guest list.